Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
