I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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