Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
