If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I still have a little drunk in my system
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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