I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
