wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
