why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
