He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
