Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
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