Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
