Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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