he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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