Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
