sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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