You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
