you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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