her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
