youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
