it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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