I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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