so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
