Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
