Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
