She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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