I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
