I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Umm I'm too high to move.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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