found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
