Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
