just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
