mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
