How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she smelled like a LAN party
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
