i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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