i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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