If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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