we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
