I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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