I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Did I show you my penis last night?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
