The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
