i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
