dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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