i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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