You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
