I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You ruined the universe
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
