I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
