god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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