Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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