We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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