It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
