I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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