I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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