a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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